So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
