I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
