Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
