after a month anything with tits is on the radar
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
