What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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