Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
