New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize