Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize