i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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