Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
