We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
