he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
