Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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