just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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