Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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