I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
