this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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