i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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