turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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