So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
