I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
