Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
