Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
