Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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