why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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