I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize