it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
