Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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