i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
