that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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