dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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