Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
