I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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