Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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