white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
