I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
