Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
