I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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