I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
