Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
