I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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