I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
