I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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