I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize