Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
