he wants to bone in the snuggie
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize