just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
