it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
