please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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