I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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