I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
