he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
