brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
