if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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