Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
