Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
