god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
