normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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