I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
