I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
