once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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