garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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