You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
