We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
