literally had 100 drinks last night.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
