O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im holly from the hills drunk
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
