I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize