Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
