you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize