I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
