I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
