My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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