yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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